If I had a dollar for every time I wished I had more will power, I’d be a Jenner-Kardashian. I start strong, but lob any curveball in my direction and I’m reaching for whatever I committed to abstain from as fast as you can say ‘pass the muffin’.
If only I had more will power, I think. I’m so weak. If this sounds familiar, leading habit-change expert Dr Gina Cleo says that’s you, me and everyone we know.
“I feel like as a society we’ve been disillusioned with this idea, almost this paradigm, that will power is the answer. And if we’ve fallen off the wagon, we just need more will power, more self control - making us the problem.” Dr Gina Cleo
If will power isn’t the answer as we’ve been led to believe, instead, Cleo says it’s habits that hold the key to our future freedom. She says we should instead think of will power as a bank account, and life’s demands are debits aplenty.
“Things like making decisions, feeling hungry, not having a very good sleep, feeling any sort of negative emotion, being time poor or stuck between a deadline and other responsibilities, self regulation, all these things deplete your willpower,” Cleo tells me.
“Now, you've only got so many credits in your account before it runs out. It's not an infinite resource. Which is why when you start a goal, initially you feel motivated and pumped and you've got all this energy and then eventually we tend to fall off the wagon. So we start something else like a new diet or a new fitness plan when really we're just repeating the cycle of starting, dropping off the wagon, starting, dropping off the wagon with a new strategy.
“Habits on the other hand don't need willpower. I always say to people, no matter how tired or stressed or hungry you are, you will always put your seatbelt on in the car. You will always tie your shoelace the same way. You'll always brush your teeth. These things happen because they're habits. They're automatic. They don't need energy or cognitive resources. That's like the juiciest part of, you know, building a life by design rather than just living by default.”
In this quick learning Cleo spells out just how we top the account up, plus exactly how to break those bad habits, featuring a little smart strategy and a pinch of kitchen cupboard magic.
Got bad habits you’re trying to break? Reply to this or drop your goals in the comments so Dr Cleo and I can cheer you on. And if you want to pretend we’re all gas-bagging in a café together, get in the fold and watch us on YouTube here:
If you love this moment, check out our full chat here and the rest of the Next Of Kin episodes here. Want to follow us? Not in the street, that would be weird, but on Instagram? You can follow Gina here and me right here.
No Will Power? This Is For You...