What I Learned From Martha Stewart

She doesn't give a perfectly roasted duck what I think of her, but here are four lessons I learned about life and business from the one and only Martha.

I am sitting uncomfortably in seat 28D. Surrounded by oversized people-luggage, a toddler behind me is using my back as her kickboard. I empathise with her Dad, who is travelling solo and trying to keep a frustrated, tired tiny person content on a cross-country flight. I’ve been him with my own children and know that solo travel with small kids is no joke. But with a pinched nerve in my back not helped by the fact I am the human version of tinned tuna, I hold them both in contempt.

Lucky for them I have Martha to keep me company. If you’d have told me three hours ago I was about to fall in love with a fairly odd woman in her 80s I’d have giggled and asked if you’d hit your head on the overhead lockers. Until a few hours ago I felt about Martha Stewart how I feel about peppermint tea – I’ll have it if there’s nothing else on offer, but I’d never choose it. And now? Well, while she’s not everyone’s cup of tea, she is apparently mine.

I love women who are complicated and contradictory, probably because I see myself in their complexity. For example, I am a writer who sometimes doesn’t write. If it isn’t coming, I don’t force it. I just get on with my life and know it will come eventually, usually at the most inconvenient times like the middle of the night, while I’m deep in conversation or when I’m crammed into seat 28D without a pen or the ability to lift my elbows from my sides. As I can’t ergonomically operate my laptop, I’ve allowed myself two luxurious hours off to watch Martha’s Netflix documentary, and found myself scribbling notes furiously with the only writing utensil I can find, a failing green highlighter. I have so many thoughts they flow from me like the vitriol I’d quite like to direct in my fellow passengers’ direction, so instead I craft them into Martha Life Lessons for your pleasure and my safekeeping.

Martha Life Lesson 1: You don’t have to explain yourself to anyone

Let’s face it, Martha is a wildly successful hot mess. She built a brand on perfection, yet behind-the-scenes her life was a novel-worthy sh*t show. I spent two hours watching her and still don’t know who she really is. I suspect she doesn’t give a perfectly roasted duck about what I or anything else thinks, and as someone who allocates way too many ducks to what other people think of me, this is noted.

Martha Life Lesson 2: Be kind

This is where Martha shows us what not to do. It gives me anxiety just thinking about how much of a ball-breaker she would’ve been to work for, and in many clips, especially ones in which she’s speaking to people who work for her, I don’t like her. I’d still give anything to sit down with her for a cuppa and a chinwag, but I truly believe there’s always room for treating everyone with kindness and respect, whether you’re a billionaire or not.

Martha Life Lesson 3: Keep learning, keep changing

I picked up on two Martha mottos;

1. Learn something new every day.

2. When you’re through changing, you’re through. The filmmakers use her garden as an analogy for the enormity of her impact, her perfectionism and her changing/growing/aging. In a scene that’s garden-focused but I think teaches us something about life, she says: “Change that garden if you don’t like it. Rip it all out and start again.”

Martha Life Lesson 4: Less feeling, more doing

For a woman who made her empire out of an inherently female pastime – homemaking – she possesses some inherently male traits. Some would describe her as cold, rude, step-on-your-toes-and-cut-them-off ambitious. But a man with the same qualities would be considered driven, focused, efficient.

Martha shares that she loves and is attracted to thinking and doing over feeling. I’m not one for toxic productivity, and I do think we’ve moved past what are considered ‘feminine’ and ‘masculine’ traits. But for any fellow chronic over-thinkers, there’s something in there for us to learn from the first female self-made billionaire in history and it’s this: Stop talking about it and just do the thing.

There’s no doubt Martha had a vision, she was one of the first to create a brand around a person – the OG influencer. The documentary positions her as someone who worked hard to make things look easy, but her success painted a target on her back.

“Martha, why do so many people hate you?” she is asked by the interviewer, before responding:

“I’m strict and I’m demanding and I’m all the good things that make a successful person.”

I suspect I’m more Arthur than Martha when it comes to her cut-throat approach to business, but boy did I find that a riveting and weirdly relatable watch.

5 stars, highly recommend.