Well, this is 40 🎈

Earlier this month I turned the big 4-0. To celebrate, I put together a list of 40 things I think I know in no particular (and fairly chaotic) order. Enjoy!

1. Don’t let anyone tell you you can’t eat a bag of chips for dinner. You can. 

2. Romantic heartbreak lasts a long time. Friendship heartbreak can last a lifetime.

3. Ask all the dumb questions. 

4. People think about you way less than you think they do.

5. Life is unfairly short. Don’t wish the days away worrying about things that don’t matter. 

6. If you change, not everyone will like it. Lucky it wasn’t for them. 

7. Grief doesn’t come for a visit - it moves in. Your job is to learn how to get along with your new housemate.

8. Family is everything. 

9. Friends can become family. 

10. Lots of money doesn’t seem to make people very happy. 

11. You will never stop feeling bad for your mistakes. Forgive yourself anyway. 

12. Be as kind as you can as often as possible. 

13. Don’t agonise over decisions. Just pick a direction and see what happens. 

14. Gossip feels good in the moment and not good afterwards.

15. People are usually doing their best. Sometimes their best sucks. 

16. You will continue to lose your AirPods on average four times a day. 

17. Caring for someone in their darkest hour is the greatest privilege. 

18. Look people in the eye, give them a toothy smile and - where appropriate - a proper hug.

19. Some people are d*ckheads. Don’t hug them. 

20. Sex is for pleasure. 

21. Eating is for fuel, and also for pleasure.

22. Always go for the swim. 

23. J Lo’s mother’s name is Guadalupe.

24. Therapy is like gym for the soul.

25. Sometimes when your dreams come true they won’t feel how you thought they would. 

26. Sometimes things you’re scared of will turn out better than you thought they would. 

27. Get the tattoo. You can remove it later. 

28. Don’t get the Japanese symbols for ‘love’ and ‘desire’ tattooed though because you’ll essentially have ‘I love sex’ tattooed on your lower back and well… that’s embarrassing. 

29. You never regret exercise.

30. Listen more, talk less.

31. Don’t put too much sh*t in your face, it makes you look weird.

32. Dance every chance you get, even/especially in the aisles of Woollies. 

33. Cherish the people that know all of your secrets and love you anyway. 

34. Home isn’t a place, it’s a feeling. 

35. Your partner is the most important decision you will ever make. 

36. Learn to cherish time on your own. 

37. Your self-worth isn’t determined by the size of your pants.

38. Grief and gratitude can sit at the same table. 

39. It’s never, ever too late. Except to be a competitive gymnast. It’s probably too late for that. 

40. Everything you know will probably turn out to be wrong. 

Let me know if the comments if any of these resonate for you! What a privilege to get 40 laps around the sun, even if I’m spending this one with a broken heart. If I’m lucky, I’ll get 40 more that are just as full of love and lessons as the first 40. 

Next Of Kin is written by health journalist Casey Beros to create a space where patients and carers can become better Next Of Kin for each other and the world at large (and occasionally, just share something to make you think or giggle). If you know someone who would benefit from my musings, please send this onto them. You can follow me on Instagram here and find out more about my work here.